


Terrified Of Losing You

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of the episode, M/M, Season 3 Episode 10 - Erchomai, Some angst, Spoilers for the mid-season finale, You know it's always rainbows and sunshines with me, happy end, hurt!Alec, lol, of course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 18:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14677251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Set after the episode, as Alec gets wounded and Magnus calls for Catarina's help to help him heal his wounded boyfriend. Magnus is terrified, because he almost loses Alexander that day.





	Terrified Of Losing You

**Author's Note:**

> As we didn't actually see a scene of Magnus taking care of Alec's wounds, I decided to write it myself lol. I miight have made the beginning a tad too dramatic and angsty, but oh well. It has a happy end. :)

''Magnus,'' moaned out Alec in pain, gritting his teeth as he tried his best to ignore the excruciating pain in his chest and his eyes then found Magnus’, trying to keep his gaze still, but couldn’t and his eyelids were starting to get heavy. Very heavy. And he felt tired, so tired. And cold. His forehead was damp with sweat, and he forced himself to look up into Magnus, who was now kneeling down next to him, on the verge of tears and was gripping onto his hand, biting his lip and tried his best not to break down.

Catarina had just portalled them to Magnus’ loft and was now searching for the needed potions among Magnus’ stash so that she could heal Alec properly. But, even in the few minutes she was gone, felt like ages to Magnus and every passing second was time lost since they didn’t have too much of it left either. Alec’s face was horribly pale and when he saw him struggling to keep his eyes open was when Magnus felt his heart breaking.

“Hey, hey, look at me, Alexander, focus, yes?” asked Magnus, desperate and gently pressed a kiss against Alec’s cold hand, kissing over the knuckles and he then gave him a weak smile. Oh, how it killed him that he had no longer his magic, he would heal Alec in no time, he was sure of it. It was like his father _knew_ what was going to happen. And he probably did, why else would he ask him for his magic!

Alec swallowed thickly and smiled when Magnus squeezed his hand. “Your eyes,” whispered Alec and licked his lower lip. “… beautiful,” stammered Alec and Magnus frowned, but then realised that his cat-eyes were probably out on display. Right, he didn’t have his magic anymore. No more glamour. He gave Alec another sad smile and gently ran his fingers through Alec’s damp hair and his eyes went to the arrow that was still in Alec’s chest.

Magnus didn’t dare to tear it out without magic, he didn’t know what the real damage was. Pulling it out just like that would put Alexander even in more danger and he cursed under his breath, Alec head slowly falling to the side and his heart fell to the pit of his stomach. “Catarina, hurry the fuck up, he’s slipping!” yelled out Magnus on top of his lungs. He didn’t mean to yell at his friend, who was trying her best to help them out, but he was panicking. “Alexander, hey, come on, look at me, hm? Look at me, don’t close your eyes,” said Magnus and Alec forced his eyes to stay open.

“…hurts,” managed to say Alec out and Magnus leaned closer to him, kissing his forehead as he was still holding onto his hand.

“I know, angel, I know. It’ll be over in a minute,” whispered Magnus and gave Alec a small smile. “Catarina will take your pain away, if she would please hurry the fuck up!” screamed Magnus again. He was tempted to go check up on Catarina, but he didn’t want to leave Alec alone. He couldn’t.

“I’m cold,” said Alec and slowly reached up with his hand, wanting to cup Magnus’ face, Magnus stopped him, taking his hand and he placed it over his own heart.

“Save your strength, Alexander,” said Magnus.

“I’m gonna die, won’t I?” asked Alec, his voice small and frightened. Alec looked so frightened, Magnus had never seen him like that and his words stomped the rest of Magnus’ heart. Magnus quickly shook his head.

“No, you won’t,” said Magnus. “I won’t let you, I promise,” whispered Magnus and Alec’s eyes welled up with tears, rolling down his cheeks.

“I don’t want to die,” begged Alec and that was enough to push Magnus over the edge, his tears wetting his cheeks. As a Shadowhunter, Alec was taught to be always prepared to die, but in reality, he wasn’t. And he was afraid, terrified. “Magnus, I’m so sorry,” he then added and Magnus shook his head.

“Hey, you listen to me now,” said Magnus, his voice breaking. “This,” he said, pointing to the arrow. “Is nothing serious, just a little wound,” said Magnus and Alec looked at him, not believing him. The tears running down Magnus’ cheeks told a whole different story. Magnus managed a smile through his tears and he cupped Alec’s face, kissing his cold lips.

“I love you,” croaked Alec.

“I love you too, so much,” said Magnus and started wiping Alec’s tears with his sleeve and he then started panicking again when Alec closed his eyes. He tapped his cheek and Alec opened his eyes, barely. He was so tired, he just wanted to rest. “You’re doing so well, Alexander,” said Magnus and then gritted his teeth. “ _Catarina!_ ” yelled Magnus. “What’s taking you so long?!”

“I’m coming,” said Catarina. She had been in the stash room only a few minutes, but she knew that their time was running out. Luckily, Catarina finally returned, her hands full of flasks and was finally prepared to attempt saving Alec. Magnus was just hoping and praying that Alec was going to be okay and that they weren’t too late.

“Finally,” breathed out Magnus. “See? Cat’s here now, you’ll be fine, everything will be okay,” said Magnus, who was still kneeling next to Alec and was caressing his cheek with his thumb, then stood up when Catarina ordered him to do so. Magnus went next to the couch, his hand still gripping onto Alec’s as he was chewing on his lower lip. “Do it, stop stalling,” hissed Magnus. He felt horrible he was this cruel to his friend, but he was desperate.

Catarina understood all of that, she didn’t take anything to offense. Snapping with her fingers, blue magic flew underneath her fingers and first she inspected how deep the arrow had gotten. She gasped in relief and then nodded. There was still hope for Alec. “The arrow isn’t that deep, it didn’t pierce his heart,” said Catarina and Magnus gave her a nervous smile, then went back to Alec, caressing his head, whispering little praises into his ear.

“I’ll extract the arrow out now, have these prepared for him to drink to stop the bleeding,” said Catarina and Magnus grabbed the needed potions, because he knew all too well what Alec would need to drink. “Here goes nothing,” said Catarina and started the painfully slow process of extracting the arrow out of Alec’s chest. She needed to be careful, not to hurt Alec even more.

Alec’s back arched in pain and Catarina’s eyes widened. “Keep him still,” said Catarina, Magnus going back down on his knees, nodding, and he placed a firm hand down on Alec’s stomach and kept him in place.

Screams of Alec’s pain filled the loft and Magnus had to close his eyes at some point, because he couldn’t handle seeing Alec in such pain, it was killing him. Literally. Alec was gripping on his hand, breathing hard and fast, trying his best to keep silent, but then the pain got worse again and he screamed again, crying, tears of pain rolling down his cheeks that time and the only thing keeping him sane was Magnus’ hand wrapped around his own.

“Magnus,” stammered Alec.

“I’m here, I’m here, you’re fine, I got you,” said Magnus and Alec nodded, his knuckles going white to the bone as he was gripping on Magnus’ hand that hard.

Once the arrow was out, they needed to act fast if they didn’t want Alec to bleed to death. He had already lost too much blood, so while Catarina was trying to stop Alec’s bleeding with her magic, Magnus made him drink a few potions as well and it didn’t really take long for Alec’s wound to start healing, the bleeding stopped and Magnus felt a wave of relief washing over him. Alec was laying on the couch, still too weak to move, but he could no longer feel the pain and his eyes widened when he suddenly heart little sniffles coming from above him.

Magnus was a mess, only when he made sure Alec was okay, he let go of his self-control and allowed the emotions to overcome him completely. Magnus went to Catarina and gave her a big, almost crushing embrace and he buried his face into his friend’s shoulder as he cried harder when Catarina returned the hug.

“Thank you, a million times, thank you, Cat,” whispered Magnus. “If anything happened to him…”

“No need to thank you, Magnus,” said Catarina and pulled back, hugging her friend’s face as he was still a sobbing mess. Catarina bit her lip and sighed. “If only I wouldn’t suggest you going to Edom, you would still have your magic. Then none of this would happen and…”

“No, don’t blame yourself,” said Magnus and shook his head. “We were out of options, so asking for my father’s help was unavoidable,” said the warlock and shrugged. Who cared about the magic thing now, he was just happy Alec was safe and sound now.

“Still-”

“No, don’t…”

“Magnus,” moaned out Alec when he finally got some strength back and Magnus turned around.

“Go to him,” said Catarina. “I’ll go put your potions back in order after the mess I’ve made,” said Catarina, knowing that the two of them needed some alone time together. Magnus nodded, kissed her cheek and thanked her again, before he literally ran over to Alec, who was now in a half-sitting, half-lying position and was looking down to his chest, where the arrow was sticking out from before and he frowned.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” asked Magnus, worried.

“Hm,” said Alec. “Jace ruined my shirt,” said Alec, trying to tell a joke.

“Alexander…” stammered Magnus in disbelief and shook his head. He wrapped his arms around Alec and Alec pressed his lips together when he felt Magnus’ body shaking, feeling Magnus’ tears wetting his neck. “I almost lost you,” stammered Magnus as he pulled back. “And you’re trying to pass it off as a joke?” asked Magnus, laughing nervously, shaking his head and he cupped Alec’s face. “You moron, don’t dare to make this into a joke, not when you finally-”

“But I didn’t,” said Alec and his eyes went wide when Magnus crushed their lips together. Alec placed a hand behind Magnus’ neck and kissed him back, the way Magnus was kissing and holding him almost brought him to tears again. “Calm down, Magnus, I’m fine,” said Alec, but Magnus couldn’t do such a thing.

“You almost died, Alexander,” said Magnus and sniffed. “If you ever almost die on me again I’ll kick your ass,” said Magnus, making Alec chuckle and Alec then hugged Magnus’ face, pressing a kiss on top of his forehead.

“Then I better watch out,” said Alec, trying to keep up a cheerful tone, but couldn’t. Not really. He was terrified before as well. Magnus pulled him in for a tight hug again and Alec let out a small moan of discomfort as the place where an arrow was piercing him through before, still hurt like hell.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” stammered Magnus and pulled back, wiping his tears away. Finally, he calmed down. A bit. Sort of.

“So Asmodeus took away your magic?” asked Alec when he noticed the cat-eyes again, concerned about Magnus. He knew Magnus was probably hurting about that as well, magic was a big part of who he was. First the position of high warlock was taken away from him and now his magic. Alec didn’t want to make this moment only about himself, even if he did almost just die.

“Yeah,” said Magnus, the realisation still not really sinking in. The only thing he was focused on was Alec and his well-being.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine-”

“That’s not important now,” said Magnus and gave Alec another smile, kissing him deeply. “All what matters is that you’re okay,” he stammered and gave Alec another hug, not wanting to let go. Alec had to agree with Magnus on that one as he wrapped his own arms around his boyfriend and held onto him tight, Catarina silently watching them and had a smile on her face.

Thank God that all of this ended well.

She’d never be able to forgive herself if Magnus lost Alec.

Catarina still blamed herself for Magnus paying his father a visit, so she promised to herself that her friend would get his magic back, no matter what it took from her!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments and opinions are well appreciated =)  
> Come visit me on [Tumblr](http://katychan666.tumblr.com/) :)


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